Tankman's Trick

Tankman's Trick is a lore post made for Another UnneceSCARY Tournament, made by AnarchoVera. It accompanies the track TARBOY.

Characters Featured

 * Tankman
 * Bandana Dee (mentioned)
 * Hatsune Miku (mentioned)
 * The Noid (mentioned)
 * Karkat Vantas
 * Billy
 * Gamzee Makara
 * Yogi Rage

Story
''The Halloween Party was going wonderful so far! All but one or two of the contestants had taken part in one way or another. From Bandana Dee's little apple juice incident, to Miku and Noid's pizza party - everyone was pitching in something of their specialty! But for Tankman's specialty, that wasn't exactly a good thing…''

"WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?"

"Hi Crab-Kitty!"

''As the night fell upon the town, Tankman had rolled in with his classic tank - now styled in the shape of a massive skull, complete with its stereotypically massive cannon strapped into its nasal cavity. It was attached so well, in fact, that Billy was able to swing on it like a large monkey bar.''

"TANK SHIT, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! EXPLAIN THIS!"

''Tank Man, unbeknownst to Karkat, had been sitting on the other side of the parking lot the tank was currently parked in on a lawn chair. To his left was a cooler filled to the brim with various alcoholic beverages, and to his right, an even more intoxicated Gamzee laid on the asphalt.''

"Yo."

"wHat’S uP mAh bRoTh-"

"I’M USED TO THIS SHIT FROM YOU, GAMZEE. BUT COME THE FUCK ON, CANNONFUCK. WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THAT? I THOUGHT RAGE BEAR TOOK IT FROM YOU. ONE OF THE ONLY FUCKING THINGS HE DID RIGHT, IN MY OPINION."

"Well, it’s a loooong story. You see…"

---

Three Hours Ago
"What in tarnation is that racket…"

''Yogi Bear was just relaxing on halloween night, eating a ham and cheese sandwich. He didn’t care for celebrating, but what he did care for was quiet. Which made him quite annoyed at the whirring coming from the garage on the fifth story of his skyscraper.''

"What in hell’s name is that ra-"

''Bam! A massive tank rammed through the wall, sending rubble cascading onto Yogi’s lap and sending mayo splattering against his face. Said tank was Tankman’s, who was currently laughing his ass off on top, spraying bullets at the ceiling.''

"EAT SHIT, FUR FACE! KAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAH!"

''Before Yogi could even process what happened, the tank was slamming its way through the window and falling onto the dirt ground, landing with a massive thud - while somehow surviving with minimal damages. Tankman fled on his mighty metal steed, hearing profanities echoing as the sun set behind him.''

---

"… OKAY, I’LL ADMIT THAT’S BADASS AS HELL. BUT CAN YOU PLEASE MOVE THAT THING?"

"What? No way. Billy’s enjoying it a lot, see?"

"Hu-heh! Yeah! It’s so fun!"

"WELL, THAT’S NOT WHAT I’M WORRIED ABO-"

''Suddenly, the tank sprung to life with a mighty bang. Zim’s cackling echoed through the night, as the tank sputtered and clanked through the parking lot. Billy held on and swung as a Fawful's hoverpad got absolutely crushed under the weight of the war-mobile.''

"… well, you got what you wanted."

"GOD DAMN IT. NOW WE HAVE A RUNAWAY TANK OPERATED BY AN IMPERIALISTIC LITTLE GREEN RAT MAN. WONDERFUL."

"cAlM yOuR jEtS, mY bRoThA. hAvE a fAyGo. cHeErS mE rIgHt uP."

"OH FUCKING WHATEVER. GIVE IT."